“Greating” The Band: How to Make YOUR Band As Great As It Can Possibly Be, Without Losing Money, Jobs, Credit, Cred, or Wives!
Telly Nicks is a professional musician, career coach, event speaker, author, and is employed at Oshkosh County Airport
Hey Kids. Don’t worry, I call everybody “kid.” It’s something I’m sort of known for, you’ll get used to it. I even call people older than me “kid.” Like my grandpa. One time I met this guy Rand Pulaski, who’s like the head of this big corporation. And I go, “Nice to meet you, kid.” I don’t know if he heard me, because he didn’t say anything about it and was in an office while I was outside looking at him and talking to him. But if he was bothered, he shouldn’t have been. I call everybody “kid.”
Anyway, that reminds me that I should introduce myself. My name’s Telly Nicks and I was in some of the biggest bands of the 80s, 90s, 00s, and beyond. I was in Terrorgnome, O.K- Radd, OctoMinefield, Ben Fender’s Blue Barn Bashers, Eternitée, On The Skids, Pretzelology, The Itchy Triggerfingers, NRBQ, and Tony’s Target Practice, just to name a few.
Know what all these bands have in common (aside from me, ho ho)? They were all GREAT.
But what makes a band great (aside from me, ha ha)? Well, a variety of things, it turns out to be! “Great” is the term I use to talk about bands that are really one step ahead in terms of how great they are and in terms of steps. Not just “all right” or “so-so” or “yeah, they’re okay”—I’m talking GREAT. STEPS.
But how do you get to that stage where you’re GREAT? Bands aren’t made GREAT. They have to be “GREATED.”
But how?
Well, that’s what I’m here to tell you about today: how to take your band, and “GREAT” it. Just follow my eleven easy steps and you’ll find out how it feels to go from a band that’s just all right…
…to a band that’s GREAT.
Step 1: Greating The Name
It just so happens I’m starting a new band, and the first thing I knew I had to do was come up with a name that would be great. Think of your favorite bands. They all have great names, right? I was thinking bigger, though. I knew I wanted my band to be the most great band there was. Who is the most great band that already exists? A lot of people would say “The Beatles.” So I knew I needed a name even more great than that.
And then it HIT ME.
I would combine my concept of “great” with the band most people feel is at the top of great bands.
And then I REALIZED.
The Beatles used the word “beat” because that was the big word going around at that time. They took that word and used it for their name.
Which is when I had this IDEA.
I could do the same thing with my band. Except instead of using the word “beat” I would use a word that’s even more great. And what word is more great than “great?”
That’s RIGHT.
My band would be called The Greatles.
Step 2: Greating The Name, Part 2: Greating Your Band’s Name
So now we’ve gotten a great name for my band (The Greatles). But what about yours?
I would suggest applying the same principle when making your band’s name truly great.
Just like I took the word “great” and the band “The Beatles” you could think of other great bands with great names that would even be greater if they had the word great in them. Some suggestions:
The Great Stones
The Great Dead
Great Zeppelin
The Fabulous Greatbirds
Bruce Springsteen and the Great Street Band
Emerson, Great, and Palmer
You get the idea. Just as long as you don’t use The Greatles because that’s what I’m calling my band!
Step 3: Greating Your Lineup
Think about some of the lineups out there that you would call “great.” What instruments do they play? How well do they play those instruments? Are they all great? Do they all contribute to making the band as great as it could be?
You can use this technique when selecting the people who will play in your band.
Take the one guy. Measure carefully how great he is, and what instrument he plays. Then take these two factors and see if they add up to him being great at his instrument and whether or not they will give the band a sense of that “great” quality you’re looking for.
Here’s an example.
In the band I was in from 1987 - 1989, Rough Temple, we had this guy Jerry. Jerry could play his instrument pretty great. But this other guy Mark? He was only “all right.” In fact, after shows people would go “Mark is so-so.” Some people would also remark, “Mark? Yeah he’s ok.”
What did this say to me?
That Rough Temple would never be GREAT.
I quit the next day.
Implement these ideas when making the lineup of your band absolutely great.
Step 5: Greating Your Gear
Any time you go see a live concert by a band you’ll want to check out their gear. Gear is the most important thing when it comes to making a band completely great, after name and lineup (see above).
Watch the band closely when you go see them. Are they great? What is the gear doing? Is it making the band great or is it keeping them from being great?
These are the questions you’ll want to ask when seeing a band live. Take notes because when it comes time to get gear for your band, you’ll need all the information you can get.
One last point about gear: don’t be afraid to employ Steps 1-4 when it comes to getting great gear. These rules are universal.
Step 6: Greating Your Stage Presence
Here’s a story.
In the early 90s I was in this band Rushin’ Dolls. We had a major label recording contract. We had the most great gear you could find. We had our own cluhouse with a dartboard. We had a manager named Rob who had managed Dream Sister before he managed us.
Sounds pretty great, right?
It wasn’t.
Why not?
We were missing one thing, one thing that you need in order to be GREAT.
What was it?
Great stage presence.
I quit that band the next day.
And remember: great stage presence is something you can learn. Just think of your favorite bands, think about their stage presence. Think about if it’s great or not. Is it? If it is, you are one step closer to getting great stage presence yourself.
Oh and P.S.: That band I mentioned earlier? They got dropped the next day.
Just goes to show. GREAT!
Step 9: Greating Your Demo
Now a lot of bands ask me, “Your demo’s great. Why?” I always give the same answer:
If ya gotta ask, you’ll never know.
Take a minute and listen to your favorite CDs. Pretend you’re INSIDE the CD. How does it feel in there? If it feels great, then take it a step further. Pretend you ARE the CD. Do YOU feel great? Would you feel justified having the word “great” on your CD booklet cover, on the jewel case spine, on the CD itself (which as we’ve established is YOU)?
Yes? No?
See what I mean?
Demos are the most important part of being a great band. Without a great demo, no one will listen to you. No one will come to your shows. No manager will manage you. No record label reps will come to your showcase. No radio station will hype you on the air. Without a demo that screams “great” you might as well be diggin’ ditches.
This “thought-experiment” will go along way toward achieving a demo that everybody will say is “great.”
Step 10: Greating Your Image
“Image.” Say it out loud. What does that word mean? Have you ever really thought about it? It means what something looks like, right?
Wrong.
“Image” means EVERYTHING. Without a great image no band has ever gone anywhere great. Take for example Mangle, the band I was in for two months in 1996. We had everything going for us. We had our name on stickers all over town. We had a singer with a 6-octave range. We had a boat.
Know what we didn’t have?
A great IMAGE.
Go to any poster shop in town. Look through their posters. Examine the bands on those posters. Analyze the images they have. How great are these images? What can you do, image-wise, to make your image as great as these, if not moreso?
Try this:
Put your band’s image at the front of your mind. Does it say anything to you? Now take your image and put it next to the image of another band — a band you really believe is great. Which image is more great? What does that mean?
Making your image great will take time. Don’t worry about the details. Just make it GREAT.
Step 11: Greating The Band: The Final Step
We’ve talked a lot about what makes bands great, how they got great, what greating can do for you, and what greating means in the larger sense of the word “great.”
Now it’s time to take it to the next level.
The level marked “great.”
Here’s something I do from time to time. I envision the word “great.” I spell it out, making the letters appear in my imagination. G. R. E. A. T. I say it out loud. “Great Great Great Great Great.” I squeeze my jaw tight as tight as I can.
Now you try.
Great, right?
Take a bow, kid. Your band has just been GREATED.
