Ideas for Tumblrs that would have made us millionaires
Given the recent scare (someone jumped out and surprised me while i was checking my mail cubbie at work and I screamed) we decided it was time to backup our precious tumblr and all its precious gold of comedy and gold.
It didn’t take long to back up, we realized, because we put a lot of words on this thing, and not many photos. It got us thinking: If Ricky Schroeder’s riding toy train went outside, wouldn’t there be a terrible draft through the house? Then we thought about what else we could have been spending our time chronicling on this here “Tumbler” that would have gotten us a book deal and the millions of dollars anyone who gets a book published obviously makes. I mean, who ever heard of bad writing? We don’t!
So the key seems to be PHOTOS — and lots of ‘em. Lots ‘n’ lots of photos centered around a charming theme that illuminates humanity in all its glorious variety and pathos (whatever those are!), and very few, if any, words.
We’re still hoping to cash in on a Laffzbook one of these days, but until then here are some surefire ideas for photoblogs (or “phlogs”) we’re happy to share with you.
AND HEREWITH AN ALPHABETIZED LIST OF IDEAS FOR BLOG-THEMES THAT WILL DEFINITELY RESULT IN A LUCRATIVE PUBLISHING CONTRACT AND COFFEETABLE-SIZED BOOK
- photos of gross pizzas
- dogs in cat costumes
- people I photographed on the way to work who were dressed weird
- sidewalk barf
- candy that accidentally went through the wash
- pretty girls playing Magic: The Gathering
- Japanese cowboys
- Bodegas
- fire hydrants that people painted funny
- squirrels I have known
- obscene snowmen
- cats in the pool!
- Hasidim looking surprised by something
- fat surfers
- hideous guitars
- giant fake cakes after people have jumped out of them
- pretty girls who work at minimarts
- gross doughnuts
- 40+ year olds playing Xbox
- babies in KISS makeup
- people riding people like horses
- pictures of people looking at pictures they just took in a photobooth
- clowns without makeup
- my friends having more fun than you
- mimes yelling at non-mimes
- weird bike locks
- mismatched socks
- people taking public transportation from sporting events
- parents getting stoned
- drawers full of menus
- Chinese-run Mexican restaurants
- Mexican-run Chinese restaurants
- Sad mini-golf places
- last-place science projects
- people waiting in line at Rachel Ray book-signings
- Disneyland employees dressed as Disney characters just standing around
- water bottles filled with pee
- buffet tables
- dance classes you can see from the street
- undeliverable mail
- mediocre tattoos
- signs with unnecessary apostrophes
- pretty girls eating buffalo wings
- bars that keep Christmas decorations up year-round
- illegaly parked cars
- men getting their inseam measurements
- stores where you can’t tell what they sell
- zoo animals that look just like animals you see all the time
- 80s stickers
