September 2011
3 posts
Even More Movie Spoof Ideas for Mad Magazine
- The Duh (The Debt)
- The Sighs of Farts (The Ides of March)
- Melonballer (Melancholia)
A Few More Movie Spoof Ideas for Mad Magazine
- Rubes On The Planet That Went Ape (Rise of the Planet of the Apes)
- Muddled Bull (Moneyball)
- The Gulp! (The Help)
Some Additional Movie Spoof Title Submissions to...
- Drivel (Drive)
- Real Schlemiel (Real Steel)
- I Don’t Care Why She Does It (I Don’t Know How She Does It)
July 2011
2 posts
- Pete Townshend Presents: Let My Love Open The Door (To Your Pizza Oven)
- Pete Best’s Missed Opportunity Pizza
- Pete Seeger’s Authentic Brick-Oven Hootenany
Reel Movies with Lance Henriksen: Lance Reviews...
Hey gang, it’s me.
Lance Henriksen.
A lot of you people out there are probably thinkin’ right now, “Hey, that’s Lance Henriksen. I’ve seen him in a whole mess of great movies like The Da Vinci Treasure and The Terminator and Sasquatch Mountain and The Right Stuff and Pirates of Treasure Island and damn knows how many more. What’s he doin’...
March 2011
1 post
More Baby Names For Which To Name The HECK Out Of...
Like many people on the internet, you may have seen our first installment of ideas on how to name your baby if you’re not just going to name it after your favorite Elton John song. And if you are one of those lucky souls, you may have noticed that we only made it up to the letter “K” which means there’s a whole bunch more letters in the alphabet, which means baby-names out...
December 2010
4 posts
Letters To The Editor
Dear Makers of Laffzone,
I very much enjoyed your article on wood-bending [“From A Stupid Tree To A Comfy As Hell Chair: The Art Of Making Wood Into Things,” August 4, 2010], but after utilizing several of the techniques described therein, I’ve had some pretty major issues, both medical and fire-related. While it’s not in my nature to complain, and I really do wish the...
Part II of The Winky Sturges Tough Guide to All...
James Hannibal Morrison: An American Guy (1943-1971)
Hello! Remember last time when I told you about the first, second, and third albums of the Doors? (If not you can find it HERE.) Well, I did a little digging (online) and discovered three more records by the selfsame band!
THE DOORS: A SOFT PARADE (1982): Legend has it that Jim and Ray (Morrison and Manzarek are their last names) of the...
Ideas for Tumblrs that would have made us...
Given the recent scare (someone jumped out and surprised me while i was checking my mail cubbie at work and I screamed) we decided it was time to backup our precious tumblr and all its precious gold of comedy and gold.
It didn’t take long to back up, we realized, because we put a lot of words on this thing, and not many photos. It got us thinking: If Ricky Schroeder’s riding toy train...
Our Favorite Dennis Miller Jokes
“When I brought home the poodle, my girlfriend started screaming louder than Tammy Faye Baker at a Kentucky Colonels performance of ‘Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina’ during the Jerry Lewis telethon.”
“They looked like Donnie and Marie sharing snack cakes with Anwar Sadat on the set of ‘Now, Voyager’ on Flag Day.”
“Trains are fine I guess...
October 2010
5 posts
Harvee Plemptum's T(error)rrrrrr-ific Costume...
Above: Harv and his Phi-Delt brothers dressed as “The Minnesota Vikings.” The distinctive helmets were made out of ”papier-machete.”
Well, it may be hard to believe but another Clauding Day has come and gone (our offices still smell like vanilla-scented candle!), and you know what that means: only three short weeks before it’s Halloween! Get ready!
We had such an...
"Your Screams Are Like A Fine Red Wine -- OF...
Last week (or so) we began our epic countdown of the baddest baddies from movies, television, film, TV, and the screen (big AND small). You can check that out: HERE
Now, because you asked for it — nay, DEMANDED it! — here is the rest of our skin-crawling list of most villainous villains ever!
5. MOMNARG - KING KONG VS. MOMNARG, GODZILLA MEETS MOMNARG, SON OF MOMNARG’S DAD
...
Naming Your Baby A-Z: Babyname Meanings, Origins,...
Scientists project that more babies will be born in the year 2011 than any other year since dinosaurs roamed the Earth. While this means many things for our society (a stronger labor force, fewer plane crashes, weight loss), what it means for the millions of new-dads and moms is that all these fresh faces will need names to go along with them. While it’s nice to consider a world where...
Exclusive Interview with Robbie-James Buckletter,...
The legendary standup comedian Robbie-James Buckletter is known to millions of fans as the originator of “Rules For A Successful Midwestern BBQ,” a comedy routine-cum-cottage industry that has grown to include three books, a popular website, numerous TV appearances, and a hugely successful line of hilarious t-shirts. Now Buckletter is unveiling a new series (airing on the Plop!TV...
1 tag
One Last Submission To The Talented Editors At Mad...
- The Anti-Social Nutjob (The Social Network)
- Whaaa? Street: The Audience Always Sleeps (Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps)
- It’s Kind Of A Crummy Movie (It’s Kind Of A Funny Story)
July 2010
3 posts
A Special Report From The Oconto County...
The site of the “fest,” moments before the grand opening unveiling
A little touch of Tinseltown glamour brightened the streets of the “Little Bolivia” section of Little Suamico this past weekend as the (94th Annual!) OCIFMPMF kicked into high gear. One of the most anticipated events of the year, the “fest” is an opportunity for Ocontoans from all around the...
(Approximately) 50 First Dates: A Number of Fun...
Dating can be hard. How hard? Imagine trying to do a math problem. Ok, now multiply that by a hundred to the 48th power divided by -87.9. Hard enough for ya? We thought so!
The only thing harder than dating (or math) is FIRST-dating. They say it’s never too late to make a first impression, so you gotta make it count, and fast! Here are some sexy, romantic, adventurous ideas to make...
Great Ideas For Your Very Own "Fuck Yeah" Tumblrog...
Do you know about the Fuck Yeahs? No, it’s not a hot new band from Lexington, Kentucky! No, what it is (what they are) is (are) a new type of blog that came out a few years ago where you name your thing “Fuck Yeah ____” but instead of a blank you have a word or words and all you do is put up pictures of whatever thing that word or those words mean(s). For instance, you could...
June 2010
4 posts
Moments In Space-Filling Journalism: This Is An...
The occasion for this confounding bit of commentary(?) was, of course, “Michael Jackson’s Death: one year later.” We’ve learned a lot since then, haven’t we?
In any event, I submit that every single sentence here is a solid-gold classic example of ‘Ffzone-esque anti-writing. Enjoy!
Michael Jackson. Perhaps the two most recognizable words in the entire...
Legendary Movie Producer (And Even Legendarier...
“You oughta star in the movies!”: Dobbie Gentles today
I was just a kid from the sticks when I landed plum in the middle of Hollywood in 1959. I stepped off that train or boat with just three simple goals: break into the movie business, make a million dollars, and get to first base with as many dames as I could.
FADE OUT. FADE IN ON:
I got my first job in Hollywood working as a...
"Greating" The Band: How to Make YOUR Band As...
Telly Nicks is a professional musician, career coach, event speaker, author, and is employed at Oshkosh County Airport
Hey Kids. Don’t worry, I call everybody “kid.” It’s something I’m sort of known for, you’ll get used to it. I even call people older than me “kid.” Like my grandpa. One time I met this guy Rand Pulaski, who’s like the...
Rockspeak 101: Rockers "Speak" Out About "Rock,"...
[Rolling Stone Charlie Watts speaks (!) to reporters while the band’s longtime manager/enforcer, Peter Grant, looks on]
The world of Rock—or Rockworld—is filled with rockers. Some are still destined for future rock greatness, some have passed on to Rock Heaven, where you know they’ve got a helluva band which unfortunately nobody ever gets to hear because clearly Heaven is in outer...
May 2010
1 post
ATTN Cineastes!!: It's Faizal Merguth's Second...
Well, it’s that time of year again, my fellow flick-buffs! What time of year is that, you ask? No, not Christmas! Not midterm elections, either! Clauding Day? Good guess, but no. Here’s a hint: take a look outside, ya bozos!
That’s right, it’s SUMMER. And if there’s one thing we’ve learned as a species over untold millennia, it’s that summer means...
April 2010
1 post
- Say Hello to My Little Friend: Individual Sized Pizzas
- Robert Redford’s Ordinary Pizza
- Mama John’s Pizza and Post Gender Transition Surgery Counseling Services
(courtesy guest pizza editor: mitch)
March 2010
1 post
1 tag
Yet More Submissions for Mad Magazine Movie...
- Schmucky Island (Shutter Island)
- Paralysis In Blunderland (Alice in Wonderland)
- Cop Out! (Cop Out)
February 2010
3 posts
Reel Movies With Lance: My Review of THE WOLFMAN...
Hey everybody, it’s me, Lance Henriksen. Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re thinkin’. “Lance Henriksen? Shouldn’t he be appearing in such movies as The Da Vinci Treasure, or The Terminator, or Sasquatch Mountain, or The Right Stuff, or Pirates of Treasure Island? Why is he reviewin’ movies?”
What can I say? I love the movies, man. It’s all part...
More Robert Christgau Record Reviews Not Actually...
SAMMY HAGAR: Too Hot For The Cool
Ayn Rand said all prisons hold the same prisoner, which may shed light on Hagar’s growing approval among the middle-middle class (and, intriguingly, Moldovans). Even a true blue trend-hopper-on enjoys moments when he just wasn’t born to follow. And so it proves on this third-ish album where things get a little rich for not-DLR’s own blood. ...
"I Vant To Crush Your Minivan!!!" -- Television...
Everybody loves a good bad guy! From Darth Vader to Darth Maul, TV and movies have delighted us with some truly terrifying specimens of gnarly no-goodnik nefariousness over the years! Collected below are some of our very favorite evil-doers and why they chilled our very bones — and thrilled our hearts!
10. LARS GLEMLSCHLISS - DIE HARD 3
When John McLaine (Bruce Willis) was killed by...
January 2010
5 posts
Dave Puttersnipe's Keeping Up With...
Every so often the Laffzone calls upon its resident tech guru Dave Puttersnipe to explain to all us lugheads what’s going on in the world of technology. His columns always leave our heads spinning with the possibilities of electrical machines and the awesome power of 1’s and 0’s (and 9’s!)! This time, he’s talking Tablet. No, he’s not on drugs! And even if he...
Outline For Unused (Unfilmed) Ninth Season of...
Too soon. Too soon!
Have these words ever been more profoundly appropriate than when describing ABC’s decision to cancel their hit comedy series Perfect Strangers in that terrible autumn of 1991? No. The answer is no. But what is the question, really?
The program had delighted audiences for years, was a smash in the “ratings,” measurement numbers scale, its characters had...
Bad Tattoo Parlor Names
- Permanent Mistake
- Needle Exchange
- A Place for Pricks
- The Tramp Stamp Hut
- The Chinese Character Factory
- Inky Breaky Heart
- The Needle & The Damage Done
- Shattered Ego
- Desperately Seeking ‘ttoosan!
- Mad Tatter
- Tattoo’s At Two AM
- Tat’s Entertainment!
- Needles To Say
- Ink and a Smudge
- Action Painting Tattoo Studio
- Drawn & Quartered
-...
More Bad Names For Boats
- Hi, Jack!
- HMS Mary Leakey
- Somalia Or Bust
Bad Names for Boats
- kidnapping
- grim welcome mat
- to catch an editor
- moon over despair
- young ray davies
- young werther’s boat
- hemlock & hennessey
- hope floats
- Soap-on-a-rope
- doppelgangplank
- THE FISH FACE
- anywhere but here
- cap sighs
December 2009
11 posts
Dr. Caroline Rice-Thungsen's Guide To Holiday...
Famed advice columnist and family therapologist practitioner Dr. Caroline Rice-Thungsen, PhD answers your questions from our readers (and you!) about how best to cope with holiday stress, anxiety, delirium tremens, batter’s wrist, and blood disposal.
Dr. Rice-Thungsen,
I am a 28 year old woman who recently became engaged to her longtime boyfriend. Despite having dated for nearly 3...
1 tag
The Next To Last (Or So) List Of Title Submissions...
- Asinine! (Nine)
- Do You Care About The Morbids? (Did You Hear About The Morgans)
- The Priss I’d Like To Flog (The Princess And The Frog)
- Pizza’s Not The Word To Play!
- A Pizza To End All War
- A Separate Pizza
Guess Who Went To See Avatar? No, Not Gene Siskel!...
Even though it’s “Tis The Season” (Christmastide) and we should all be thinking hard about presents, candy, “nog,” and trees, the word on everybody’s lips these days is AVATAR.
So what in the heck does it mean? As it turns out, it doesn’t mean anything at all. It’s just a name made up by James “Captain Kirk” Cameron when he was...
- The Seeds’ I Can’t Seem to Make You Pie
- The Count Five’s Psychotic Cheese-action
- ? and the Mysterians’ 96 beers (& Pizza!)
1 tag
Yet Still More Mad Magazine Movie Spoof Title...
- Schmuck in the Air (Up in the Air)
- Surefire Groans (Sherlock Holmes)
- Blecch In The Lame-O-Dunce Clods (Invictus)
The 'Ffzone Fact-Checked, Laff-Checked,...
The great thing about the Internet is telling people what to think. We fully support this wondrous new age of told-ya-so and were only too happy to discover the following:
pieceofthesky:
laffzone:
ABOVE: Simon with folk singer Donovan
Um, actually Carly with her then husband James Taylor!
Fair enough, fellow blogger! (Flobber?)
So we did some soul-searching, cross-talking,...
- Rocky Horror Pizza Show
- Meatloaf’s You took The Slice Right Out of My Mouth
- Eighteen! Alice Cooper’s Demented Adolescent Pizza Parlor Experience
Urban Legends De-Mythed, Un-Bunked, Re-futed, and...
URBAN LEGEND: The picture of Abraham Lincoln on the U.S. penny was modeled after Muhammad Ali.
STATUS: FALSE
This rumor has its origins in the small print of a 1992 book entitled “4,078 Days With The Champ: My Sad Saga With Muhammad Ali,” written by Hersh Goldfelm about his decade serving as chauffeur for the famous boxer. In a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it footnote on page 422,...
Part One Of: Great, Affordable, Great Holiday Gift...
Both Clauding Day and Christmas (sp?) are right around the corner, which means it’s time to set aside 13.6% of your income for the rest of the month so you’ll have enough “cashola” to spend on presents for mom, sis, dad, other sis, cousin, fishing coach, and other sis — or whoever else is on your list! (don’t forget pets!)
Following below after the leap...
METAL POTTER Pt. 1
After our “Prog Potter” series was met with such enthusiasm, we decided to branch out into other genres. For instance, Heavy Metal Music:
- Harry Potter and the Number of the Beast
- Harry Potter and the Sad Wings of Destiny
- Harry Potter and the Master of Reality
November 2009
3 posts
More Mad Magazine Movie Spoof Submissions
- Have-A-Turd (Avatar)
- Slob IV (Saw IV)
- Blab Loony Tan-Pants: Port-a-Potty Not-So-Lean (Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans)
ATTN Editors At MAD MAGAZINE: Movie Spoof Title...
- The Fat, Spastic Miserable Flop (The Fantastic Mr. Fox)
- The Rude (The Road)
- The Trying-Blight Sagger: Numb Boob (The Twilight Saga: New Moon)
"Thanks" For (Practically) Nothin': 27 Cheap &...
November isn’t named “November” just because of our 22nd President, Groseveld November. No, it’s named November because “november” rhymes with “remember” which should remind all of us that November is the month wherein you’ll find the greatest holiday this side of Clauding Day: that’s right I’m talkin’ THANKSGIVING!
...
October 2009
11 posts
Easy-2-Make Halloween Costume Ideas
With only two short weeks left before Halloween, it might be time to start thinking about a costume! Most people dress up as a vampire or hobo, but if we know our readers, you’ll want something a little more creative — but not so creative you’ll spend all day making it!
So here are some fun costume ideas you can put together in less than 20 minutes with items commonly found...
More Great Titles From Boring Books Repurposed As...
This is the next installment of Laffzone’s ‘Great Books We Wish Were Flicks’ series.
Under the Volcano
Something is happening deep in the earth. Something unholy! If you thought hot lava was scary, get ready for Nekro, the baddest, raddest Hawaiian fire god you’ve ever laid eyes on, and once you’ve laid eyes on him, they’ll probably burn right off from the...
- Egghead’s P.h.CHEESE
- Neil Young’s Crust Never Sleeps Pizzeria and Song Dump
- Lonely Bachelor’s Pizza For One